


Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

by Aramirandme81



Series: A Johnsons Christmas Calendar 2013 [10]
Category: The Almighty Johnsons
Genre: Brother Feels, Child Neglect, Dysfunctional Family, Eating Disorders, Gen, Not all that Christmassy, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2013-12-10
Packaged: 2018-01-04 05:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aramirandme81/pseuds/Aramirandme81
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas has always been an exciting time of year.<br/>The presents, the food, the happy secrecy, the sweets and baked goods, the little things people find easier to do for each other at this time of year.<br/>Peace on earth and good will to all of man and all that.<br/>But that was back when they still had a mother and their father hadn’t shot permanently through yet.<br/>At least they still have Mike... right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Have yourself a merry little christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Faiz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faiz/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was meant to be more Christmassy, and about their first Christmas with Val.. it kind of got away from me.  
> But it should still be a good read, I hope.  
> ***NOTE*****  
> If you want a happy ending, stop after this chapter.  
> If not read on.

*********

Christmas has always been an exciting time of year.

The presents, the food, the happy secrecy, the sweets and baked goods, the little things people find easier to do for each other at this time of year.

Peace on earth and good will to all of man and all that.

Even mum and dad had made an extra effort to get along and keep the fighting and arguing to a minimum, occasionally even going so far that any fight they couldn’t or wouldn’t back away from was taken out to the barn so the kids didn’t have to listen. When they came back in again it was always clear who had won the fight, if dad had won he would sometimes get them together in the kitchen and make cookies or marzipan, maybe he would read out loud from one of the many books of legends and sagas they had. If mum had won she would let them have cookies before dinner and play games with them. 

And once in a blue moon both their parents would come in looking like they’d had a fight in the hay and then they would bake with dad while mum read aloud, then dad would play with them while mum cooked dinner and they would have dessert and cookies before bed and maybe even another story and a board game. They all liked those fights the best even if Mike would always blush when mum and dad came in after.  
When Ty would mention Mikes blush he would stammer something incoherent and rush of for a few minutes leaving Ty confuse and Anders grinning. For Anders well knew what the ‘hay fight’ really was, he’d been unfortunate enough to walk in on them once when he’d had a question pressing enough to risk interrupting one of their fights. He’d forgotten the question rather quickly as he’d hurried back to the house. So their parent’s had sex, big deal. Just how did Mike think he’d come by all his brothers? How did he think he’d gotten here for that matter? For all that Mike boasted the mantel of ever knowing eldest brother he could be really oblivious at times in Anders opinion.

But that was back when they still had a mother and their farther hadn’t shot permanently through yet. 

 

The Christmad last year had been weird. 

 

Mike had been off with Rob, or Rob and Val, or Mike had just been off like he had been almost since the moment he’d come back from his trip with mum on his birthday to tell them she’d died in an accident and it was just them now, but he would take care of them.

Yeah like never being home and only occasionally dropping by with a stack of money was taking care of them. Where was Mike when Axl cried all day and Ty all night? Where was Mike when Axl threw a fit and started smashing things because he didn’t know what to do with his sorrow? Where was Mike when Ty retreated into himself and refused to speak? Where was Mike? Elsewhere, that’s where Mike was. 

Anders had been the one slaving from the crack of dawn till after the stars came out trying to fill three pairs of shoes, mum, dad and brother, and make the days run smoothly for his younger brothers. 

He’d started off doing it all by himself, because he wanted to give the other time to grieve and he’d hoped Mike would show up again and be there like he had those first two days but he didn’t, and Anders realized after the first two weeks that he needed help if he wanted to have time to do his homework and not sleep in class.

Ty had been, maybe not happy but, okay with taking on a few more chores. Doing the washing up every other day like now, only now he’d do it alone because Anders had other things he needed to do. Sweeping the floors when needed, vacuuming once a week, carrying the full laundry bag to the kitchen so Anders could take it down to the basement and wash and once his cloths was clean Ty had to put it away himself.  
Ty’s acceptance had meant a lot to Anders.

Axl had not been nearly as accepting.

He’d stomped and screamed, cried and called Anders all kind of mean and deeply unfair things. Despite the fact that all Anders had asked him to do was clean up his own room once a week, place his own dirty laundry in the laundry basket in the bathroom and help do the washing up every other day. Really considering how much work Anders had himself taken on he’d felt it was a small thing to ask. Apparently not. So he amended it and Axl would only have to help with the dishes twice a week but on the subject of the rest of the chores Anders had stood firm and Axl’s fist had beaten against him with no other effect than to bruise Anders pale flesh.

 

In theory when Mike had moved back into the old farm house, he’d left as soon as he could to study and work as a builder but was ‘back’ now that mum was gone, he’d gotten chores just like anyone else.  
In theory.

But then in theory they still had a farther, he was just somewhere unknown but undoubtedly on the ocean. And in theory Mike could say he still did his part, because he did leave them money almost every time he stopped by home to grab a shower and a clean set of cloths or maybe several sets. Maybe he’d open the fridge and remark that they were out of something and then take something else so they were out of that too. And on a rare occasion exchange a quick, very quick, word with Axl or Ty and give Anders a ‘You’ll take care of this right?’ look that he never stayed long enough to get an answer to. 

But when that was all he did, then in Anders opinion it was almost as bad as doing nothing.

Because to the younger two that was about as much as Mike had spoken to them even before mum went missing, and seeing Mike gave them a sort of hope that things would get better but Anders was the one left with the weight of the things Mike failed do and the one picking up the pieces when his brothers realized that no Mike wasn’t staying this time either.

So Anders learned very quickly how to prioritize both emotionally and practically.

Stopping Axl from tearing their house apart had to come before gentling Ty out of himself, both because the clean up would be epic if he didn’t and because it would be double hard to get Ty out if Axl was tearing the place apart around them. 

Having clean clothes to wear to school was more important than having clean bedding once a week.

Yard work could wait, as could the flower garden. The vegetable patch could not. 

 

They needed the produce, because Mike might have been an adult and lived on his own but he’d clearly forgotten how much active children and teenagers could eat, so there were never quite enough money to cover both food and everything else like electricity, phone, TV, washing powder, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, new shoelaces, dust bags for the vacuum cleaner, materials for Ty’s science project and sweets for Axl to take to class on his birthday.

 

Oh yes, Anders was getting the crash course from hell in household economics and the value of household appliances. 

 

Quality had to suffer for quantity, so the sugary breakfast cereal was replaced with oat meal or regular cornflakes, discount brands both of them but certainly edible. Even if Axl was very vocal and loud in his disagreement.

But then Axl is always loud. And he always had something to complain about. If it’s not the taste of the food, then it’s the quantity or the look. 

“Dad’s meatloaf didn’t look like this. His was much bigger.”

“Mum let me have more cheese on my pasta.” 

“Why do we have to eat so much rice and vegetables?” 

“Why can’t we have more meat?”

“Why don’t we get dessert anymore?” 

And when Anders does manage to find a little extra money, either because something is on offer or he forgoes something, like pushing washing powder off for just one more week, stretching what the have one more day by only nipping himself, and uses it to get something extra for his brothers does that stop Axl? 

No, it just changes the questions.

“Why do we only get soda-pop for dessert?”

“Why can’t we have cookies with lunch every day?”

“Aren’t you having any Andy?” 

“Can I have yours then?”

The answer to three of those questions is the same: Because we don’t have the money.

With Anders chipping in everything he earns from his paper route and doing Old man Peters’ yard work once a week they are barely scraping along. 

He’d ask Mike for more money if he ever saw him long enough, but when Mike comes home late when Anders already asleep so exhausted nothing could wake him, or he comes home while they are at school and leaves before Anders get in only speaking to Ty and Axl who might know they are having trouble but not how bad. 

Anders thinks he might be the only fourteen year old he knows of that’s addicted to coffee. But if he didn’t drink it then how would he get up after so few hours sleep? So even if he’s the only one drinking it and it’s not exactly cheap coffee stays on the strict budget he’s worked out. 

Food for his fish is a sore point for him, since they are really his responsibility so he can’t justify using household money to buy it. But he solves that problem the same way he justifies buying coffee, by skipping meals and saving money that way. It never occurs to him that the money he chips in more than makes up for the cost of both coffee and fish food. 

 

Two months in and he’s figured out whole days of not eating isn’t working very well and leaves him to drained, so by shifting it a little he’s worked it so he eats breakfast every school day, and he has dinner every other school day and Sunday. Lunch is a thing of the past but he was never a big eater and it doesn’t really bother him at all. 

He’s gotten better at cooking for his brothers as well. Though Axl will still complain about the selection he’s stopped complaining so much about the quality. They still eat a lot of rice though, but that’s not about to change as long as rice is the cheapest option. 

Soup is also a stable of their diet, easy and filling it can be made to stretch even with only a few ingredients to begin with. 

And because it’s got a long cook time, Anders has time to put on a wash and help Axl and sometimes Ty with their homework before dinner is ready.

He’s gotten good at organizing his day so he get’s something done every moment he’s awake, and the house looks presentable if not spotless in a way it never did even when both mum and dad was there.

 

Anders was never much for kitchen duty so he has been reading a lot of cookbooks lately enough that he’s managed to capture Ty’s interest as well. It’s not as sour a task when you have someone else help you, and it draws Ty out like nothing else he’s tried, an he’s tried Everything it seems, so Anders encourages Ty’s curiosity and together they make a pretty decent team in the kitchen and even Axl seems almost content at meal times. Ty loves baking, so Anders does the math and if Ty bakes bread at least every third day they can save quite a lot, so he asks Ty if he would mind helping like that? Ty actually lights up at the question. Anders thinks it’s because Ty is so fond of baking and liked to be given the opportunity, but in reality Ty is relived to be able to help his brother because he can see Anders works hard for them. 

The only down side, in Anders opinion, is that Ty’s reemergence into the world means that he’s begun taking notice of Anders eating habits but so far Anders has managed to dodge and circumvent any inquiry however discrete or direct it has been. 

 

Axl too has calmed down considerably since Anders has managed to create a sense of stability again, though he will still get the odd episode of extreme temper often ending in violent tantrums. 

It’s during one of these temper tantrums, about Axl’s favorite shirt being dirty when he wants to wear it, that Anders temper finally snaps as well. 

“Fine! Wear the bloody shirt, go down to breakfast looking like you rolled in the mud like a pig, lord knows you eat like one.” Anders yells throwing up his arms in despair and turns around to leave, he certainly have better things to do than argue with Axl.

“I’m, not, a, Pig!” Axl shouts angrily and charges blindly into Anders unprotected back sending them both tumbling down the stairs.

Axl wails as he lands awkwardly on his arm, and on Anders who lets out a strange gash as all the air is forced out of his lungs, but otherwise says nothing. 

Ty comes storming in from the kitchen where he’d been making pancakes for breakfast to celebrate the fact that its only one week to Christmas.

“What happened?”

“I hurt my arm!” Axl wails and runs over to Ty to show him.

“That does look like it hurts.” Ty agrees when he sees that a patch of skin has been scraped of just above Axl’s elbow. Then he looks up to ask Anders where the band aids are but stops when his brother is still just lying there. 

“Anders?”

No answer.

“Anders?” Ty tries again, fear creeping into his voice.

“Andy?” Axl sniffs and joins in he too can tell something is wrong.

“Mmmmm.” Anders groans and moves his head a little.

“Andy!” Axl yells and runs over and would no doubt have thrown himself upon his brother had Ty not managed to grab hold of him.

“I don’t think jumping on Andy would be good right now Axl.”

“Oh.” Axl says and sits down as quietly as he can and pets Anders shoulder as gently as he can. “Are you okay Andy?” He asks, his own arm forgotten.

“Mmmm. What happened? Wasn’t I upstairs a moment ago?”

“You took the fast and easy way down it seems.” Ty says, very relieved that Anders is speaking and seem coherent. 

“I’ll grant you fast, but I would not call it easy. *snif* Is something burning?”

“THE PANCAKES!” Ty yells and runs for the kitchen.

Anders closes his eyes for a moment but they shoot open in shock when he feels Axl’s hand on his forehead.

“Axl?” He asks confused, normally Axl would be where the food was. But his baby brother just sits there looking at him with bright eyes. “Axl are you okay buddy? Did you hurt yourself?” Anders asks and winches as he slowly, and ever so gingerly sits up on his elbows so he can get a better look at Axl.

“I, I pushed you Andy. I pushed you and you fell.” He blinks then he begins to sniff pitifully. “I pushed you down the stairs Andy, Mike said people can die from that, mum died and left us, dad left us, Mike is never here anymore and you were so still. I, I killed you Anders!” Axl breaks down and sobs into his hands.

“Oh no Axl, you didn’t kill me buddy. See I’m right here, you silly goose.” Anders says as he gently lifts Axl’s face up from his hands. “And I’m not going anywhere for quite awhile yet.” Anders sits a little more up and hold open his arms for Axl to hug him and prove to himself he is still here.

Axl throws himself into Anders embrace hugging him for all he is worth sobbing into Anders shirt and refuses to let go again. 

A sniff is heard from the door way, Anders only unfolds one arm and hold it out without even looking up from where his own head is resting on Axl’s warm head, and there is a soft bump and then Ty is nestling into the space Anders made for him arms going around both Anders and Axl, and as Anders lovers his arm to hug Ty to him he feels Ty’s tears wet his shirt. Anders sighs in relief that they can finally cry and gives in as well.

They sit like that long enough for the pancakes to become cold, for breakfast to become lunch and for none of them to care about anything but the fact that they still have each other. Bumps, bruises, bad tempers and all.

 

*******

 

When Mike comes by two days later, with a turkey under one arm and a bag of what is undoubtedly presents under the other he is surprised to find that Axl doesn’t throw himself at him or tears into the box of sweets he’s brought him, but just says thank you and goes back to the table where Anders is setting the plates for their dinner and then sits there looking at Anders as he tries to suppress a wince every time he needs to move his left right side or straighten his back.

“You alright buddy?” Mike asks Axl, he’s not noticed Anders, or that it’s him Axl is preoccupied with.

Axl shrugs. 

“Are you staying?” Anders asks matter of fact.

“What?” Mike asks a little astounded at Anders slightly harsh way of putting the question.

“Are you staying for dinner? I need to know if I have to get another plate.”

“Yes, yes I’ll be staying.” Mike looks like he’s surprised to be asked that in a house he considers his home, but Anders just nods and turns around to get another plate from the cupboard. 

“I’ll get it!” Axl says and dashes past his brother then grabs the step latter and flips it up so he can climb up and reach, though to Mikes surprise he only takes two steps up. The plates used to be on the second shelf now they are on the first. Actually now that he takes a look round several things have moved around.

“When did you move it all about?” Mike asks as Anders smiles at Axl and ruffles his hair as he hurries past. 

“When I got tired of never being able to reach the things I needed most.” Anders says and goes to look in the oven. “Just about ready.” He shifts a little strangely when he straightens back up. “Ty could you?”

“Sure I’ll get it.” Ty says as he mixes the diced oranges into the carrot salad and sits it on the table before going back and getting the lasagna out of the oven. 

“Careful.”Mike says and Ty sends him a smile.

“Relax Mike, it’s hardly the first time I’ve gotten something out of the oven. Try the bread.” He says as he puts the hot pan down on the board Anders has placed in the middle of the table. 

“Yes try the bread. It’s good.” Axl says as he grabs the biggest of the little breads from the basket. “Anders can I have… oh thanks.” He says as he sees his salad is already dished out and has a smiley face made of raisins on top. 

“You’re welcome. Pas me the bread please Mike?” Anders says as he sits down, giving a nod of thanks to Ty who has already poured water into Anders glass and milk into his and Axl’s. 

Mike takes a piece of bread and hands Anders the basket.

“How much Axl?” Ty asks as he prepares to dish out the lasagna. 

For some reason Axl looks at Anders plate and frowns, though for the life of him Mike can’t figure out why.

“Serve Mike first?” Axl suggests hopefully? Making Ty snickers and Anders smirks as if this is a game they have played before and Mike is the only one that doesn’t know the rules.

Ty looks at Anders who gives a little nod smirk still firmly in place. 

“Mike?” Ty asks spatula poised to cut into the very appetizing smelling dish.

“Whatever you think is fine by me.” He says in an effort to learn the game.

Ty scoops up a fair portion and dishes it onto Mikes plate, Axl’s eyes following it the whole way.

Even following the bite Mike takes as if it held the answer to the meaning of life.

Mike chews, it’s a really good lasagna, not quite like any he’s had before but very good.

Axl looks at him expectantly. 

“Well?”

“Well what?” Mike asks back making Axl pout and the other two laugh quietly.

“He’s trying to figure out if it has meat or not, so he knows how big a portion he should ask for.” Anders explains.

“It’s meatless?” Mike ask astounded and looks at the food on his plate as if it simply jumped there and he had nothing to do with it.

“Is it?” Axl asks again.

“I don’t know, it tastes fine, it taste really good actually.” Mike says and absentmindedly takes a bite of his bread. “And so does this.”

“Thanks.” Ty says.

“You cooked?” Mike ask not believing he could be more astounded than he was now.

“I made the bread and the salad. Anders made the lasagna and grew the carrots.”

“He…you grew your own carrots?”

“Yeah, so did dad, what’s so strange about that?” Anders asks and takes pity on Axl. “It’s meatless Axl but it’s a new recipe and I put a little cheese in it.”

“Hmm. Okay medium please.” Axl says to Ty.

“A wise choice to be sure.” Anders compliments him and thanks Ty after he’s only dished a small spoonful onto Anders plate. 

The three of them make a strange domestic picture that Mike can help but feel shut off from somehow.

 

“Is there any more milk?” He asks as he empties his glass of water, the meal was good but he need more than water to finish it he feels.

“Milk is for breakfast and growing boys.” Axl says in a voice that tells Mike that this is something he’s heard a hundred times or more.

“So…”

“So, grownups and teenagers have water with their meal.” Anders says indicating the jug of water that’s on the table. 

Mike is about to remark that they all used to drink milk with dinner but Axl interrupts him. 

“Can I be excused please I have to pee?”

“Sure buddy.” Mike and Anders says at the same time causing Mike to frown at Anders and Anders to give him a raised eyebrow back.

“Anders can you help me? I can’t get my buttons with my arm.” Axl begs.

Anders sighs but nods and goes along.

“What happened to his arm?” Mike asks when the other two have left the kitchen.

“He pushed Anders and they both fell down the stairs.” Ty answers

“What?” Mike says in disbelief. But when Ty confirms it’s the truth with a shrug and cleans the last two bites of his plate.

“You better tell me the whole story there buddy?” Mike ‘suggests’. 

Ty does, explaining that the shirt had been dirty so Axl had gotten mad and pushed Anders when he threw his tantrum.

“I know he can have a bit of a temper but a tantrum?” 

“We know the difference by now Mike. It’s not exactly the first time he’s done something like that, it’s just the first time he did it in such an… unfortunate place.”

“He hit’s you?” Mike sounds slightly shocked, the happy little brother he knows would never do that unless he’d been seriously provoked. “I... Axl would never do that.” Mike says, knowing that Ty wouldn’t lie about something like that but still refusing to believe.

Ty just shrugs and shows Mike a few fading bruises on his arm.

“Anders says Axl is really sad but he doesn’t know how to be that sad so he gets angry instead. I don’t know really, it’s almost always Anders he hits and screams at.”

“It happens a lot then?”

“At least once or twice a week. It’s getting better though, it used to be every other day.”

“I had no idea.” Mike mumbles then catches Ty’s disappointed look.

“What?”

“You have to be here to notice Mike.”

“I…”

Ty gets up and picks up a blue notebook nearly hidden behind the jar where dad used to put the cookies, and lo there is actually a pair of what could be oatmeal cookies in it, much to Mike’s surprise.

Ty hands the book to Mike who opens it and feels his eyebrows rise at the rows of neat lettering an numbers that make up a very thorough ledger of … well everything that costs money in a household it seems. The eyebrows lover again when he looks it over and he sees the bottom line.

“But this…”

“Is much more than you leave, yes I know. I found it earlier today when I wanted to make us some cookies for Christmas. I’m not good at math like Anders is, so I don’t get all of it but I know the red number is bigger than the black one, and that’s always bad.” 

Mike looks back at the ledger. 

The red is bigger than the black, not by more than a few hundred though. But when he sees the ridiculously small amounts in some of the expenses in the section marked Food he begins to understand. He cast a look around the kitchen. There isn’t even a third of the things his parents kept stocked up on no matter what, and what there is, is clearly discount brands. 

“Anders hates gardening Mike. I couldn’t understand why he suddenly went into it with life and soul either but he I get it now, he knew we needed the food and didn’t have the money.” 

Ty places his hand on Mikes and looks at him imploringly. 

“We need more money Mike. Anders is trying so hard Mike. He does his paper route in the morning, tends the garden, cooks and cleans, shops for groceries, does laundry and helps us with our homework. He thinks we don’t see Mike, and we didn’t at first, but he’s just so tired Mike. He’s even gotten a bad report card for falling asleep in class, Anders never falls asleep in class, not even in Mrs. Olson’s class and Everyone sleeps in her classes. We need your help. Please come back home Mike?” Ty begs, hope shining in his dark eyes.

Mike can feel his throat close up with something that tastes not unlike regret and shame.

It’s clear the Ty feels what he says is true and Mike can see he needs to give them more money, but surely he hasn’t been so absent that Anders couldn’t have told him that? Surely Anders is doing fine and Ty is exaggerating? Surely….

 

“Anders!” Axl’s shout can be heard from the upstairs bathroom, quickly followed by an even more frantic: “Ty!” And that’s when Mike knows that yes he has been that absent, when Axl shouts for Ty before him when something is wrong. 

Both of them sprint up the stairs and into the bathroom where Axl sits on the toilet big frightened eyes fixed on Anders who’s curled into a tight little ball, breath coming in panting little breaths through his clenched teeth, eyes equally closed though tears of pain trickle through and down his pale cheek.

“Anders buddy, are you alright?” Mike asks knowing it’s a bloody stupid question the moment it leaves his lips.

“Hurts. Sooo much.” He manages to get out then whimpers.

“What does?”

“Shoulder.” Anders says and Axl whimpers. 

“My fault.” He says tears also in his eyes.

“No, just unlucky.” Anders insists and manages to open his eyes a few seconds to look at Axl.

“I’m taking you to hospital.” Mike says as he bends and picks Anders up with worryingly ease. He’s much lighter than Mike would have thought, lighter than he remembers, and a small part of him suddenly understands how the money could stretch so far.

“Oh Andy.” Mike sighs and has to fight back his own tears. “Right I’m taking Anders to hospital, you two stay…”

“NO!” Axl screams and stands up on the toilet seat. “No we are coming.”

“Axl it’s just going to be a lot of waiting, you …”

“No, you went away with dad and he didn’t come back from the ship, you went away with mum and she didn’t come back, you are Not taking away my brother!”Axl says lightning flashing in his teary eyes.

“Oh Jesus.” Mike breaths, and had he had a free hand he would have touched his forehead in despair over what Axl just said.

“Mike.” Ty says caught between reluctantly agreeing with his little brother and reassuring his older that that must have come out wrong. But they both know Axl is not a liar, he simply doesn’t have the guile for it.

“Ty help Axl with his pants, then meet me outside, and we’ll all go to the hospital.” Mike says and Ty nods in relief, though Axl keeps his eyes on Mike and Anders as Mike carries his precious burden gently down the stairs.

 

Turns out Anders had cracked his shoulder blade when he took that tumble down the stair and the fact that he had simply popped aspirins and continued as normal, even doing a spot of gardening had agitated the crack enough that the fall he’d taken onto the bathroom floor had completed the break, it shouldn’t have. But then bones break far easier when you are severely malnourished. The doctor hadn’t been hesitant to use the word ‘starved’ to describe his condition and if Mike hadn’t for once thrown away his macho image and broken down crying she would have called child services on the spot.

As it was Anders, even drugged up as he was after they’d set his bones and bandaged him, advocated for Mike’s innocence with all the seal of a seasoned defense attorney and the imploring eyes of a child that just wants their parent. 

The doctor never stood a chance. 

 

Anders spend the next two days in hospital, which meant Axl did as well as he refused to be parted from Anders, even getting the nurses grudging permission to lie beside Anders in his bed and often he would fall asleep there, none having the heart to separate the siblings.

Meanwhile Mike and Ty were not sitting idly by.

There was after all only two days until Christmas and there was much to do in that time.

Reluctantly Mike left Ty to most of the house work and to his amazement rather competent baking, while Mike went and entered as many raffles and games of chance as he could to win them presents, food and money. 

 

And when the doctors relented under the pressure of four pairs of pleading and hopeful eyes and let Anders go home with strict instructions to take it easy in every way and a set of rules to follow there was a tree waiting on them at home. Ready to be decorated by all of them. Yes even Anders, though he would be directing Mike where to hang the ornaments from the couch with Axl sitting by him eating the popcorn that was meant to go on a chain around the tree like he’d seen in the American movies.

They’d been realistic and admitted that they would only spoil the turkey since none of them knew how to prepare it, so they went with one of the Scandinavian traditions and had roast pork with crackling, potatoes, a rich brown sauce, pickled red cabbage, crisps and sugar apples with sweet filling. 

Between them they managed to make everything not only edible but actually really good. Though that could have been the fact that they were all there, together as they should be.

 

Mike had to admit as he listened to his brothers chat about everything and nothing after they had unwrapped their presents and said their thanks, that he’d been away much more and much longer than he’d meant to or even realized. 

Had it really been months? 

Was Axl really that tall already?

Did Ty really have his first serious crush on a girl?

Was that serious young teen over there really his little brother?

 

Ty said his good night at the same time Mike carried a sleeping Axl to bed, and when Mike came down again Anders had managed to peel an orange one handed, the peel coming of in one single piece. 

“Make a wish Anders.” Mike said as he sat down beside his brother who parted the orange in two.

“Never leave us like that again Mike.” Anders said and held one part of the orange out to Mike.

 

And how do you refuse a request like that? 

How do you say no, when your youngest and most outgoing brother clings to another brother like you are a stranger in his world and you might take either him or his brother away? How do you leave when you need to stay and become known again? 

How do you refuse when your middle brother still doesn’t speak much but still managed to beg for your help? How can you let him down like that?

How can you refuse when you look at your oldest little brother, the one you begged your parents for, and you see the way his skin is white and stretched over a far too small frame? When you see the sling and the cast holding his broken bones together? 

How do you leave again when you know that this is what leaving did to them in the first place?

 

The answer is you don’t.  
You stay and you hope to become half as good a brother and man as your younger brother already is at fourteen. 

 

Mike takes the orange part Anders holds out to him.

“I promise Andy. I’m going to do my best to be what I need to for the three of you. Whether that means being more like a dad than a brother to Axl and less like ‘dad’ and more like an actual friend to you, I don’t know but I’m hoping you will help me along?”

“Count on it.” Anders says and lifts his orange in salute. “Merry Christmas Mike.” He says and bites into his orange. 

“Merry Christmas Andy.”


	2. I'll have a blue Christmas

Not a month later Rob went into a coma and Mike’s good intentions went out the window.


End file.
